the repatriation of onebluegreen


It knows your biznezz

The iTunes algorithm knows my intimate relationships were a sh1t sh0w in 2015. I know it knows and I am kind of embarrassed but I can't stop buying coffeehouse versions of torch songs.

I know the $1.29 fingerprint purchases of Drown in my own tears and You really got a hold on me are different from when I bought Moondance from the preppy kid at the college bookstore. Sure it might have been a bit embarrassing to buy Van Moorison but the clerk wasn't keeping a tally of my purchases. I was allowed to grow beyond the Bay C1ty R0llers (just to clarify -- that purchase was in elementary school) and it wasn't held against me beyond the memory of R0sematy's older brother who literally fell off the porch swing laughing when Ang and I walked by wearing plaid shirts and plaid edged edged short jeans with rainbow socks and clogs.

But now my music phases are part of my digital permanent record, which is a real thing. I put a spell on you, both versions and the number of times I've looped them, are forever etched in an elephant server whose memory is as long as it is financially useful. I have visions of being thrust into the limelight with a meme worthy yearbook photo (look at those sausage curls) and my iTunes music and TV show purchases (that's a whole lot of supernatural TV!). Embarrassingly open to scrutiny. This fear might replace my forgot-my-clothes-in-public and forgot-to-go-to-class-all-semester stress dreams.

In spite of my knowledge of online algorithms and my fear of the cool kids and adults laughing at my choice in p0p music, I can't help it. I really did buy several Nei1 D1am9nd songs (they remind me of Mom circa early '80 and why not while I am in this music mood?)

I don't remember if I wrote about this previously but when I was relatively new with the g0vt Super K asked what was on my iP0d. I said it was private. He said (and I quote) "Your underwear drawer is private. Your music isn't."

I disagreed although I don't think I said so out loud. In some ways my underwear drawer was less private. Or maybe it was just no one would ask to see my underwear drawer. It would be rude (remind me to tell the underwear folding story next time) but my music is just as personal and can be as intimate as my lingerie. That day, I think I scrolled through my cracker-sized Nano although I may have handed it to Super K to scroll through himself. Whoever did the scrolling he said "Um hm. White Rabbit. I knew it!" Or maybe he guessed I'd have the song before he saw it.

Sometimes when I play it I wonder why he said that. Why would I have White Rabbit? Did he really know or was he once again, successfully, pulling my leg? I remembered it again this fall and was going to ask him but I didn't get the chance before he went incommunicado.

BTW, on Friday I sent Super K a Xmas card with the w0r1s's m0st 1nterest1ng promo coaster from the work Xmas party. I don't expect him to respond but it would be really nice to be work friends again or at the very least maybe it won't be awkward or super awkward if we run into each other. That is a lot of pressure to put on a coaster and foil snowman Xmas card but hopefully he sees it as the peace offering it is. Plus sending the card apparently appeases the universe. I haven't seen nary a manbun, naughty nurse, or D0S XX ad since I mailed it. There was some work related stuff but it wasn't the kind of thing that immediately brought him to mind.

Meanwhile, black belt bought me a really thoughtful Xmas present. More thoughtful than when we were together. It was sweet and confusing too. Not in an are we getting back togetherwhy are some people's dating persona so different from their relationship personaway. :-(

10:58 p.m. - 2015-12-21


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