the repatriation of onebluegreen
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
atypical
dysp1astic nevus. That is what the lab report said. They are not sure if the whole margin was present so dr derm (dang, what did I call him?) will have to make a decision when he returns next week. He mentioned sending me to the guy he works with (I believe the guy is a plastic surgeon) but I've decided I am going to have him fax a copy of my lab to me and my GP and me and my many moles are going elsewhere. Yes, dysp1astic nevus can turn deadly however I think most of my moles are dysp1astic nevus. Atypical and numerous. Once I heard the term I remembered that at least one doctor had toldme that was how I made them. I also remembered a couple of years ago a cosmetic dr who was also an internist said the mole on my chest was one to watch but she wasn't in favor of just hacking. I've also read that once it has been "shaved" the way it has it makes later lab tests from the same spot difficult to diagnose. But hey, I think I am sounding vain and bitter about the missing chunk of my chest. I have never cared about my scars and I've always just laughed when a doctor has offered to help the appearance of one or more but this one is different because I suspect it was unnecessary or premature. However, no use crying over lost skin. It will heal (it still hasn't scabbed -- it is just kind of yellow and gross.) and once it scars if I hate it, it will be OK b/c it can be changed. And most importantly in the meantime someone I like, will like me enough to still touch that breast. I swear some of this fear I have goes back to my first college boyfriend, the Repeater, who once I was undressed called me scar woman. I know my gallbladder scar was fairly new and I had the one on my back and the one on my forehead but he was drunken ass for saying that and I need to quit believing it. I promise, soon I will write about something else. Anything else.
9:13 p.m. - 2009-01-20
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
previous | next
|