the repatriation of onebluegreen

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Blog October 2002

This is not a real entry -- I am moving more of my written entries from the blog to here. I only have 26 more entries to move then the blog will be mainly photos. I would like to get into the habit of posting photos regularly.
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Fortune Cookie: A good friend will last longer than a lover.

Jurassic House: Quiet and beautiful. Leaves are just starting to turn. Bought purplish leaf honeysuckle (yes they do sell it). Am trying to figure out where to plant it.

Knitting & Knoddling: My Lake student Jeanne spent last week in Seattle. She took her beginner project to a yarn shop to find buttons. The shop personnel said they were amazed her instructor let her work with cotton because it is not very forgiving for a beginner but we were right because she was doing a great job. Agreed to take a finishing project when I return from Russia. It is knitted in Berroco's Monet -- beautiful but not fun to put together.

Kudzu Control: Today there was only a little control. Mailed boxes to Homeowner. Had planned to do it last week but was looking for a certain size box I could never locate. Checked off a few things I need to do before I leave but do not feel like I am making lots of progress. Tonight I will read until I finish "Cannery Row" for bookgroup tomorrow. That is on my to-do list & I feel much better going to bookgroup when I have read the book. Especially since I pick the next book. I decided on "White Noise" by Don DeLillo. Haven't read anything by him and am curious.

UFOs: My Damasco/Zen sweater is going to fall into this category if I don't start working on it. I was zipping along but then stopped. And Hanne, well, I haven't picked her up in a few days.

Airing: What is it with people coming into a small business as they are closing or knocking on the door when they are already closed and saying "Oh. Can't you stay open a few minutes more?" You would not do it at Walmart or the bank. You would not want someone to do it to you at your place of business so why do you do it to others?
9:49 PM October 1, 2002

Fortune Cookie:a Today is a good day to tell a joke. It is also a good day to laugh. Try not to laugh at your own joke.

Jurassic House: Today while I was sitting at my laptop I glanced outside to see a man in a gas mask spraying the windows and house. It was a little surreal even though the Bugman had just been in the house spraying. Inside though he did not have on a mask so it caught me off guard. Another beautiful day. Intended to read or knit outside but did not do it. The last few days have been so beautiful. I know when I return from my trip mid-month this kind of weather may be gone. The other morning I was clinging to my sheets, thinking how comfortable my bed is, what a great time of year this is, how I want to go hiking during the day and have a fire in the chiminea -- And I thought -- I don't want to go any where. I just want to stay here. I am very excited about Russia -- it is an amazing opportunity and it will be a wonderful trip but the other part is true too. The other part is true too. I do have a comfortable bed with a great view and when I get back I need to make sure I do not become so busy that I cannot enjoy it.

Looked at Knitty today. Am very excited that Knitty is no longer coming but here. Really nice job. Sent url to several knitters so they too could be inspired.

Kudzu Control: Um. Have not made much progress on my "before-trip-to-do" list or any to-do list for that matter. Maybe I am being hard on myself -- I made some progress, not much. However, with all the driving I have been doing between here and the Lake and the Lake and Roanoke and Roanoke to here (mainly via the Blue Ridge Parkway) I have had many quintessential kudzu siting. Will add photos to blog soon!

UFOs: Not a stitch but will knit a row on something before I go to sleep tonight.

Airing: Tonight was the Cantos Bookgroup. Our bookgroup originally called Camnae started in March of 1996 at another bookstore in town. An employee of the store, Leslie, started the group, picked "July's People""by Nadine Gordimer. By the next meeting Leslie had moved out of town. Our group continued on with a small core group while others came and went. The name never really stuck. We found a new home at Cantos. Changed from Monday to Wednesday nights.

We have read everything from "Naked Lunch" to "Murphy". A couple of times we have read a play then attended the theater performance. We once read a young adult book and an "adult" novel by the same author simultaneously. One month we each read a different book by Anita Brookner then at the meeting we each gave a synopsis and tried to find common themes and differences. During the Holiday Season we bring in our favorite reading. One year Kurt read the beautiful or downer -- depending on your view point story "The Birds for Christmas" by Mark Richard. Kurt also picked "The Plague" by Camus which we read during a heat spell that mimic the weather the characters experienced.

During my separation I voluntarily gave up bookgroup to my ex. He had no family here and his network of friends, at the time, was smaller. I did not want him to feel isolated. One time I forgot bookgroup was meeting. I walked in as he was talking. It was awkward but I thought it would be more awkward if I bolted. I walked over to the counter to ask for the book I'd come for. It was "Who Moved the Cheese?"-- a business motivational book. For some reason I was embarrassed by the title even though the book was highly recommended to me. Later we talked about it. It was weird for us both. Over time I missed the group. He only went less than three times in a year and a half. I started going again this summer.

Activities is one of those things you sometimes loose in a break up. But if he decides he wants to start attending again I am sure there is room for both of us.

I write about the group tonight, instead of the book, because I realize there are several wonderful things about the group -- I have met interesting people many of whom have since moved but when I look at the list of books the group has chosen and the name of the person I think "oh yeah." Then I remember them and the book. I am a naturally eclectic reader but my oeuvre is much broader thanks to the picks of other members. We agree as often as we disagree (tonight it was in relation to Steinbeck's "Cannery Row" who would Doc's philosophers be today. I said the tattooed and pierced kids who hang out in front of Mill Mountain Coffee and Tea everyone is so afraid of. Then we had a discussion about whether people are meaner or worse today than they were in times past. The group was split on both the kids and our level of meanness but that too is good -- much better than when the group felt we needed to agree. I feel awfully sentimental but I write about the group as a way of expressing appreciation and of recording some of the history of one bookgroup without an official name.

Other personal favorites include: "Let the Dead Bury their Dead", "Anil's Ghost" and "The Bird Artist" and "Autobiography of My Mother. Thanks group!

Read along with us. If you post or email your comments by the first Wednesday of November I will share them with the group -- the next read is "White Noise" by Don DeLillos.

Funky! If you have not seen the children's book "Walter the Farting Dog" contact Cantos for a copy. Farting was not only a taboo subject in my family but it may have been considered worse than swearing. However "Walter" is a very funny book that made me laugh. I don't think anyone, adult or child, who has received the book has not found it to be so. Cantos is a fantastic independent bookstore in downtown that carries a wonderful selction of literature, poetry, books about Applachainia and many other subjects. They also have great service. I do not mean to single the store out for this one book but "Walter" is an odd little title from a small publisher that you have to see and read to believe.

1:10 AM October 3, 2002

Fortune Cookie: You need to spend less time on line.

Jurassic House: Replacement Housesitter in House. Leave for trip in just a few hours.

Kudzu Control: Leave in a few hours. See above. May not post for two weeks but will give full report when I return.
1:57 AM October 7, 2002

Fortune Cookie: You will receive a message from a distant land.

Jurassic House: I understand from the Replacement Housesitter via e-mail all is well.

I do not have time to truly update just wanted to check in -- to say we have arrived back in Moscow from Saint Petersburg (which was amazing), Dana (aka The Pregnant Lady) had a birthday Monday, how glad we were to see Sasha, our driver, at the airport, how beautiful the falling snow was as we drove to Martin and Kelly's home tonight which also feels like our own home.
1:56 PM October 16, 2002

Fortune Cookie: One journey will come to an end. A new equally exciting one begins today.

Jurassic House: Returned home last night. House feels like home even though I am the Housesitter but that may also be because most of my furniture, dishes, paintings (and of course my cat) are waiting here for me. I moved about every three years when I was a kid so I also think I am adept at calling where ever I am home. Replacement Housesitter Rebekah did a wonderful job -- the outside lights were on so I could see to get in and the house itself was clean and inviting.

Knitting & Knoddling: Do not know what happened. Dragged at least three yarn projects (Falkenburg, the Lily Chin cable scarf pattern I am going to teach, and the two needle sock pattern) knitted a little the first night then did not pick up the needles again. Even during the long long flights. Had no trouble carrying on my needles, though. That is good news. From time-to-time shop customers tell us they have problems. Did not visit a yarn shop either. But I did see the Orenburg shawls though. Very beautiful.

Kudzu Control: Lots and lots of unpacking which leads to the ever pressing task of finding a way to get all items to fit and be organized within my living space. I have much mail to deal with as well as having to deal with those previously left undone things -- like getting enough art for the art vending machine which goes up at the Roanoke Natural Foods Store at the end of the month, checking on the ESL position, sending my forms back so I can be an Officer of the Election, writing bills, catching up on correspondence, and losing weight/getting more exercise -- Between being with a pregnant woman and a woman who loves good food dessert I did not have a prayer.

Airing: Rude and/or inconsiderate people in airports. There were many nice folks -- like the sweet woman who helped me pull our four trunks from the luggage carousal. Dana could not lift because she is pregnant and the doctor told her not to. That woman was really appreciated. I tried to return the favor by helping others with their luggage while I waited for mine. But for the few rude and/or inconsiderate people, like the woman from Moscow to Frankfurt who took up more than her share of the seat, who kept the woman in front from reclining even a tad bit, then tripped our flight attendant because you also had to stretch into the aisle during our three hour flight -- wake up -- you are not alone in the world. I do not have the time and energy to write about the other rude people but I just want to know why -- why are people rude and inconsiderate? Or why do you think they are rude and inconsiderate? I would like to understand.

Books & Other stuff: The trip was fantastic. Will write more about it later. Right now I just really wanted to check in -- say Hi. Anne is in from Boston -- am looking forward to seeing her this week. Finished White Noise from Don DeLillo. I liked the book. I expect one maybe two other bookgroup members will have also liked the book but we will see. I am most amazed at how prophetic it was especially since it was published in 1985. There are times when I felt like I had to lug through the book -- times when it was slightly tedious -- but I liked it all the same. Will think more about the book before the next meeting first Wednesday of the month.

7:15 AM October 22, 2002

Fortune Cookie: If you do not ask, you will never know.

Jurassic House: Yesterday I woke up early and lazed around the house listening to music, trying to figure out lyrics to fit questions I was using for onebluegreen, my on line diary. While I was dancing in the living room I noticed one of the rhododendron bushes in the backyard was in bloom. Beautiful white blooms.

Yesterday I met Anne who now lives in Boston at Angler's Cafe downtown then took the Parkway home. I am so happy the leaves did not all change and fall while I was gone.

Today I need to put away the things I unpacked, do laundry, go to the post office and mail the Houseowner some mail, mow the lawn (or at least half of it), and tie up loose ends. I am getting a taste of how the house is going to feel in winter. It is colder outside and I don't think the house is well insulated but my bedroom continues to be warm. It is not going to be unpleasantly cold in the house just not as toasty warm as my four former residences in Old SW. I know I will miss radiator heat (and Tigger will miss them as they were a favorite napping spot for her).

Knitting & Knoddling: While downtown yesterday I went into Gone CoCo. Susan talked to me about having a Sunday knitting workshop for the Holiday Season. She asked if I would be the teacher. We have talked about this before but now she is acutally ready. I think it would be a lot of fun. I suggested a sign up sheet so I will know in advance how many if any are coming. I don't want to block off every Sunday if there are not enough people. Having time off is important to me.

One of my students from the Lake called yesterday. She is stuck. I think she missed me a great deal.

Kudzu Control: Front table is stacked with mail, there are clothes and suitcases and other post trip debris. Plus my list of things to do is pretty large. There is a lot to do -- and lots of different things to do -- but I feel good. All is under control. ha ha ha

Art: Need to make phone calls today to the artists about the upcoming deadline for the Roanoke Natural Foods machine. Also need to see when the machine can be moved from the Grand building. Jonzo asked the Community Inn to save their cigarette packs. He has about twenty packs but they are not from the CI but from Invisibledon who graciously offered to save his packs for the art vending machine (although I want him to know I do not want him to keep smoking just to keep me in hardpacks.) Need to call Jesse at Shenandoah Amusement to have him fix the machine and to give me and a couple of other people (Rebekah, Jon maybe someone at the Jefferson Center) lessons on how to fix the common problems. "Owes a $1.50" -- the one at the Grand Building seems to be a particular pain.

Received my newsletter from Twenty Things. This time it is a call to make one piece which is going to be sold on Ebay for Charity. Am excited. It should be easy because I am working at almost that size for the machine anyway. Plus Ed Dolinger, sculptor, last spring suggested creating a mail art machine. This seems like a good way to get me started about thinking about creating a mailart show in one of the machine.

This morning was lying in bed reading the new Art in America. Realized I have not painted very much since before Houseowners visit May/June. Lots of things have happened since then like moving but I need to figure out how to make it part of my regular schedule. If I could figure out a way to paint out here it would work but I hate to have the paint fumes in the house because while ventilation in my studio is a problem it would not be as big a problem as the house where I sleep and eat. Being a bed lounger did produce inspiration -- I have an idea for a series of nude paintings. It ties together a lot of things I have been working on -- micro and macro, color, texture, the desire to be both representational and nonobjective. I am going to try to go to figure drawing tonight at Western. I am so out of practice. Ultimately I will need both male and female models -- and for figure painting I would really need some place other than my studio. I will figure out the details as I go. I am just excited to have something I really want to work on.

Airing: For the last several months I have spent time worrying and being stressed about my relationship with Jeepboy aka Homeowner. I have hesitated to write about it at all because it is complicated. Homeowner asked me to housesit before we'd ever met. We have mutual friends in common but had never met. Then when he was here we went out. Housesitting and dating are two very separate issues -- hence my desire to give him two different names. Jeepboy's life and therefore our relationship is tangled and convoluted. Besides the fact he lives 8,000 miles away and doesn't know how long he is going to be overseas he also is not totally free to date because he is involved with someone who is not entirely free to date either. I know this is starting to sound seamy but I swear it is not. It has a lot to do with living an expat life.

The deal was we went out when he was here then when he returned to his home overseas he went back to his life -- he has a year to figure out where his relationship is going. During that time I would date if I wanted If the 'perfect person' (I do use that term loosely -- I understand there are no perfect matches) walked into my life then I would not wait. No, this was my idea not his -- I think he is probably still surprised I agreed to go out with him at all.

We have a lot in common and I think that is rare. I do not why I met someone I clicked with only to not really be able to date. Many things are great -- we had a lot of fun when he was here -- but other things do suck.

I have not written about it because I struggle with that issue about where does my life end and someone else's begin. What belongs to me vs. where should I respect another's privacy. As I writer I struggle with this all the time.

I may be at the point where I might be ready to date. But it is difficult -- I was never good at casual dating. I was not one of those girls who dated a different guy every night of the week. I still do not think that is the kind of dating I am interested in -- I am not a player. To me a good casual dating relationship at this point would be a lover/friend relationship. Something safe for both people to hang out in, be themselves, laugh, commiserate and have fun without feeling the pressure of where it is going. To experience the present and if it ends to still be friends. Maybe that is impossible but why?

Yesterday when I was talking to Anne about dating I said the truth of the matter is one person always ends up getting hurt. Two people meet and unless they end up with an incredible marriage the only other outcome is a break up. Usually one person wants to break up but the other does not. So someone gets hurt.

I do not want to be hurt and I do not want to hurt someone else. I do not want another relationship carcass littering the landscape. Lover/friend -- it must be possible. In fact it seems like a great basis for a relationship.

I think I might be ready to date simply because I have recently noticed someone who intrigues me. I do not think he knows. I am not sure how to even go about it but I did ask a friend of his if he was dating anyone.

Last night I finally asked Jeepboy in an email what he was thinking. We write and IM all the time but I no longer have a sense of whether he still cares for me in a datey kind of way or if I have moved to the 'just good friend' category. I need to know. If I have become just a friend then I will deal and move on. If he still cares but doesn't know anymore than he did in June, meaning he needs the rest of time -- then while that is fine just as he lives his life I need to start living mine. He said he did not want me to put my life on hold but for the first few months I could not help it. The only bad part of this is my timing -- I think Jeepboy just went out of the country. It may take him a while to respond. The curious part is I feel better already -- just the act of asking, setting things in motion took the weight off. I understand things left in the deep dark recesses of my soul fester but it is hard to bring them out into the light of day.

I was not planning on airing this part of my personal linen on line but it feels okay so far. My blog and diary are places for me to be honest and to receive feedback so hiding a part that consumes a great deal of my energy seems against the intended spirit.

Too Funky! This is one of my favorite website/projects -- The Mirror Project. It was started by someone who had self portrait photographs of herself -- she put them on the web to see if there were like minded individuals. There are. Lot of them. Myself included even before self portraits became a requirement for art classes.

10:18 AM October 23, 2002

Fortune Cookie: Be notorious today. (guest fortune provided by The Fortune Cookie Book - A Little Food for Thought.

Jurassic House: Most of the leaves around the house have changed. It is beautiful. Still am trying to put things from the trip away. Storage is an ongoing challenge. Who designs a house with one closet? Really -- there is only one closet. A small one in the master bedroom. There is no coat, linen, pantry, or guest bedroom closet. I still have only been able to mow half the lawn because the rest of the week it has been too wet. Jonzo (who has been so busy with his various jobs has not had time to update his diary -- this morning is applying for yet another job. I think he is going for the record of number of part-time jobs by an individual with a full-time job.) has said if I do not finish mowing soon instead of calling me One Yard, Two Days it will be One Yard, One Week. I fear he is right.

Oh no! It is raining hard. We will have to fix the sky lights soon before winter or I will have two rectangular holes in the sunroom. There is a man who is supposed to fix the roof but he has never showed. Damn contractors. One of my Lake students who is in the process of remodeling her home said people who regularly remodel for fun have a penchant for S&M. But instead of whips and chains they have found a socially acceptable form they can discuss at dinner parties and in public.

Knitting & Knoddling: My new night time class is almost filled. Thanks to Rebekah for creating the post card class announcement while I was in Russia. The day time Lake class is going again. I have a new knitter but no one signed up for the Lily Chin Reversible Cable scarf. I think once I finish the scarf myself and it is displayed at the shop people will be interested in signing up. I have been unable to concentrate on anything complicated which means I had not knitted at all since I returned from my trip. So finally I started another Fluff scarf from Great Adirondack Yarns. Here is a reivew from Knitters Review on this great hand-dyed yarn. Can we say one skein, 17 stitches on a #17 needle, creates a cool scarf? A few weeks ago I knitted one in a bright colorway -- Caribbean Sunset -- simply because our models were of Cappuccino and Pearls -- which means only those colors would sell. Few could visualize the tacky looking colors would be blended and beautiful once knitted. I forget the color I picked up Saturday but it has mint greens and purple. On Saturday I had some of my elementary school students come in to pick out their yarn. So far I have one girl and one boy. The boy's brother seemed drawn to the yarn as well. He ran over to us and said to his brother "Wow. Look at these needles." I looked down to see a pair of #17 needles. I asked if they had had knitting on them. He sheepishly said no. After they left it was frustrating to put my stitches back on the needle but the needles look like curtains rods and the yarn looks like a kool-ade dyed animal -- what kid could resist playing?

Kudzu Control: It has been suggested to me KudzuParty has a slightly negative connotation. That maybe my life, this time of housesitting, freelance knitting and trying to get into grad school, is not out of control. I see the point. I do not intend it to be that way. I think of a kudzu party as being slightly ridiculous. Funny to visualize -- cartoonish. Whereas Kudzu Control is about recognizing what can be out of control and not thinking you can cure it 100% because you cannot but just trying. I mainly think of Kudzu Control as bringing the chaos of possessions under control but there are other applications. Apathy, fear, jealousy and other painful emotions can be like kudzu -- creeping and growing until one day it is suffocating. In that aspect trying to tame the kudzu is positive. KudzuParty reflects how I see my life -- serious, pretty funny, an ongoing effort to learn who I am and to move towards being more me.

Art: Noticed that is incredible space is now vacant. It had been an antique shop. I thought then it would make a great studio but my Mom and ex said yuck! Then three artists rented it and made it their studio. I think they left because one of them is a photographer and wants to have a bigger space. I wonder how much it rents for? I probably cannot afford it but it would be great. My current studio space has been great. It is a gift space from a friend and her family in one of their warehouses. The bad part is it is unheated, they do not want me there after dark because it is dangerous (It is kind of sketchy. One day I stored a couch for Rebekah in my space. Jonzo dropped by to help. Meanwhile a man came up to the door, asked if we could help. When I said "No thanks we have it under control" he bent down and started digging through the leaves under my bushes. We all stood there looking thinking WTH? Jonzo said "Man can I help you with anything?" The guy said no he was okay. Then he got sort of frantic. Finally he pulled a bottle of schnapps from my bushes and left. We thought that kind of funny but over the years there have been a couple of murders on the same block. Lots of break ins.), and because of insurance reasons I should not have lots of other people in the space. Whereas this other space I could have figure drawing models (which would be frowned upon at my studio because it might look funny. Figure drawing is hard to explain sometimes. And there is an adult video store two doors up --the models might not feel that comfortable.) which would help the series I want to do. I probably cannot afford it but I will at least call one of the painters who had been there to ask how much the rent is. A girl can always dream.

Airing: No major complaints except maybe cars that pull out in front of me then drive 15 mph below the speed limit. Or those autos on my winding mountain road who drive fast and on the opposite side of where they should drive. I have had to almost hit the ditch more than once.

I guess since I wrote so much about it last time it is only proper I give an update on my last airing. No, I am not 'just a friend' but I am to live my life. I am not to wait. Fair enough.

Too Funky! How about a few Southern Ghost Stories for Halloween?

8:53 AM October 28, 2002

Fortune Cookie: While sorting through your backlog you unearth a treasure.

Happy Belated (yesterday) Birthday, Rebekah! It would have been on your day had I updated sooner. And a special Birthday Fortune for you: Read between the lines. Ha ha sorry. That is the one that come up from The Accordian's Parent.

Jurassic House: Today is the first clear day. It has been so foggy on the mountain. At night when I drive home I can barely see the road. Even during the day the visibility has been low until I get lower down. With the spot lights, the fog and the way the house is situated I feel like I live in a light house. And all the leaves. . . (sigh). . .I feel like such a cliche but they are so beautiful.

Knitting & Knoddling: Started a new class at The Shop last night. Three brand new students and one who just wants to learn the extra tricks of the trade. Seem to be a good group. I had to leave class about a half hour early for Election training (I am an Officer of the Election -- I work inside a polling place) so Skyknit filled in for me. I have not been teaching adults in through the front door, out through the back, once around, off jumps jack but she said it to them. I guess I thought adults would find it silly but it makes perfect sense to teach them the phrase too. Finished the Fluff scarf. Jonzo and Crnflkgirl were curious about the yarn and scarf -- Wow. What is it?

Kudzu Control: Am cleaning and trying to put trip stuff away. Trying to catch up on everything. One day soon.

Airing: I am mellow today. Not rants.

Funky! Entropy8 is hard to describe but it is a cool design.
3:52 PM October 30, 2002





Bored and/or Curious: Will it work out? I hope you are using better criteria than this but . . . Love Calculator.

9:57 p.m. - 2005-01-17

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