the repatriation of onebluegreen
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\"Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without\"
I ran into Cargo Pants today. I'd gone next door to get my hair trimmed and as I was leaving he came in. He said Hi. I said Hi Cargo Pants. I continued to listen to the woman who'd cut my hair talk, I paid and left. I was going to say goodbye but there really wasn't a chance. I think it has been about a year since I've seen him. Dark hair, blue eyes and tall -- I remember why I thought he was attractive. I don't really miss him but I know at some point our paths will cease to cross and I will wonder what ever happened to him in his life. This week I have paid more attention to what I eat. Instead of just paying attention to food points I have tried to have fresh foods. More vegetables, more fruit, less ready to eat anything, more water and only one coke a day. It means cooking more and packing most of my lunch and on the days I teach also my dinner. I am intent not only on losing the last ten pounds but my main point has always been to eat better. All the effort for one is a challenge plus there is no one to clean up but when I make the effort I enjoy the process and my body seems happier too. R's car, which has been in the driveway, won't start. This sucks because I try to start it pretty often but the battery is dead dead dead. Last year the battery went dead too. That means his car while under my watch is going through a battery a year. R has been quiet this week. No email. No email forwards. I haven't emailed either. Like cutting back on coke I am trying to wean myself off him. Although last Saturday we talked for two hours it is still progress. I suspect post-relationship friendship will be more enjoyable but -- there is always a but and I take an excruiating long time to give up. I wish he'd totally give up on me first. It doesn't seem like to much too ask. Really the least he could do. I have only have three weeks of classes. I have many pages left of Crime and Punishment, I have a paper and two take home exams. Boston is in town this weekend. Next Friday Proust and I having dinner and maybe going to see a movie. I think the next night I am going out on the town with one of the photography models. There is always grass, weed killing and house cleaning. R mentioned he'd be in sometime early May. I should go. Have a good weekend.
8:07 p.m. - 2004-04-16
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