the repatriation of onebluegreen

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Good-bye house. Thank you for everything.

My house, inherited from Mom and my stepfather has officially been acquired. It was acquired by relocation on Friday May 20 and and on Friday May 27 the equity payment was released. I didn't receive it until Tuesday after Memorial Day or maybe it was in my account on Friday but I thought I'd given information for my main checking account but Tuesday afternoon I realized my wire enrollment information was for my other account. The account I opened for free in order to cash checks from being an occasional step-on tour guide.

I am relieved and mildly worried. Has the house really settled? Mom would be proud of me. She wanted to leave me an asset and she did. Mom would be annoyed with me for not taking better care of the yard. For killing most of her plants.

Since I am the only one who inherited anything that makes me feel a bit guilty. I know I am the only one who stayed. I am the one who helped take of them. I was the one who both could use the money and would have appreciated it. I was the youngest. I am the only one who is unattached.

Black belt said this was a turning point for me. I am not sure he meant it as a good thing but rather another way the universe has played a cruel trick on him. He meets someone he likes and not only does she move but she is on the verge of huge changes. Huge changes after years of...not really stasis, no one could say that about my life but years of me not being in a serious relationship. Years, almost twenty years of me being in R0an0ke.

Black belt was right. This is a turning point that feels like a turning point. A turning point in leaving home because that is what R0an0ke was to me even if I was born in another part of the state. Home will always be there although I know it will change. I won't always know what festivals are going on or always see someone on the downtown market that I know.

One side effect of moving every three years when I was growing up is I have many homes. Staunt0n and my college feels like home. Lex1ngt0n, law school and my cabin on the river always feel like home. R's house mid-way up the mountain, my first apartment (post law school) on Frank1in Road, my last apartment on Frank1in Road (post marriage), my great grand parents' cabins, and a few other places -- are also home.

My house, Mom and A1vin's house, in 01d SW will always be home too. I hope someone who loves old houses and either has the money or the know how to fix it (or perhaps both) will buy it. Someone who will put the house on the Par10r T0ur at Christmas time, the way Mom always wanted.

So, now that I am free to go and do what I want, what will I do? Now that I am undeniably middle aged and I feel time in way that I haven't felt since I was a child and I first understood death, how will I spend the next twenty years?

5:22 p.m. - 2011-06-02

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