the repatriation of onebluegreen



So about 44 days ago (the number of days since my last update)I accepted a job with Central Office. A week later CO rescinded my offer. Not their HR, not my big HR office, but CO itself. Someone from my office called CO and let them know I am not currently making my production. Never mind, that my last evaluation in April was good and that my next evaluation isn't until October. Never mind that I asked my local HR if that would matter. They said no, it is an internal matter, that no final action has been taken, and that it was an opportunity not a punishment. The only record of my current production at my office; not at my big HR office. The woman from CO who called said it wasn't her decision it was "blah, blah, and the under secretary's decision." Really, she said the under secretary. Then she encouraged me to apply for other jobs after my production is normal/after my October evaluation. I said "You can't tell me if my name has crossed that many people's desks in this context that this isn't going to affect me."

I spoke again to my local HR. They said they did not speak to anyone. My boss said she didn't speak anyone. What that means is that my offer wasn't rescinded due to a normal check of my status before my HR released me to the other HR. It means someone in upper management (three people at most) on their own initiative called CO to let them know about my current production.

Why would they do that? Well, they might not think I deserve to go to CO because my production is currently low. It doesn't matter that no final action has been taken or that my evaluation is good. Or, just as likely, our office is under the microscope we aren't making production. This is a big deal. If we don't make it by the end of September our upper management receives poor reviews. At the time I was promoted, another girl was promoted to CO and another one quit. I am in a position that is necessary to make our goal (same for the girl who quit, not for the other girl promoted). No one wants a bad review, esp upper management, they can be fired for a bad review.

Neither reason is particularly noble. I did everything I was suppose to do when I applied and the various HR offices decided I was qualified for the position. I interviewed and I completed a writing sample. And I was chosen. It makes me feel angry that upper management who is so big on following proper protocol would skip protocol to keep a FTE (what I am really am -- not Onebluegreen) from leaving. In the process they may have damaged my career/chances for receiving a promotion in the future.

I know things happen for a reason and it would have been hard for me to pack and move by late September. However, I was prepared to do it. It felt scary but great. I also know I could perform the new job and that my current low production would have no impact on my ability. My low production is, in part, a result from how my office gives us work. I am not the only one who has low production.

But, no matter what happened, here I am. I wrote a snailmail letter to the woman from CO telling her I was proud to have been offered a position, that I hoped to serve in the near future. I apologized for any miscommunication on my part. I explained my production was fine when I applied & what my HR office said when I was offered the position. That if I had been informed otherwise I would have withdrawn my acceptance. I said that I wanted to keep my application active so that in October after my next evaluation I could be re-considered. I also asked her to convey my appreciate by forwarding my letter to those people she mentioned who were final decisionmakers in my application.

It was a very professional letter. I wanted CO to have a better last impression of me than the drama created by my upper management.

I can't remember if I mentioned this earlier this summer but months before this happened I glanced at the door at a pizza party I glanced at the door. Our upper management was standing in the door and the image that came to my mind was the three of them looked like the he11h0und guarding the door. I was kind of shocked by the image but I couldn't shake it. At the time it really didn't have to do with me it had to do with how they had treated my co-workers including one whose husband has had amputations.

But, whether they are the he11h0und or not, I have been working on getting my production up. I believe my production will be where it needs to be for a good evaluation in October. I just need to keep focusing. Thinking about he11h0unds and getting distracted by anything is not helpful. When I leave my job I want it to be on a good note. I also want it to be my choice.

Meanwhile, I have started watching Buffy reruns. I was not interested in the show when it was on TV but now I am. At least my office doesn't set on a he11m0uth.

3:48 p.m. - 2010-09-19


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