the repatriation of onebluegreen


The coach

Nine or ten year ago I bought the Autobiography Box. I also gave it to Proust and to Mom for Christmas. I may have drawn one card once but I never worked my way through the cards. I hired a personal coach and my first project is to work my way though The Autobiography Box.

Every so often I think it doesn't matter where you start any place will work. The idea being that I have a ton of goals to lose weight, to make more videos, to write, to get to sleep on time, to learn to accept abundance, develop a yoga practice, learn how to use the Ad0be creative suite well, etc. and the point is I can't do them all at once and there is no one right place to begin but if I start will getting to bed on time then that will lead to scanning all of my photos. I don't know if I explained it in a way that makes sense but the point was to act rather than collect books on various subjects.

The decision to hire a coach was tough. People came to me for coaching and therapy functions. I am a great idea person. I understand what needs to happen in order to reach a goal and that any goal can be reached. I have three post-graduate degrees which prove my ability to follow through but still there is something that holds me back.

No matter how times writing every day was my New Year's Resolution, the only year I wrote every day was when I decided to keep a house journal for R. I filled four (maybe more) books about what I did at his house. What the weather was like. Who came to visit. I emptied my love and fears into the house journal because I couldn't have said those things to R. Anyway, by the time R returned the journals were so personal I couldn't give them to him. I told him about them and how I wanted to write them because he loved his house so much. And, of course, by the time he came back he was depressed and freaked out by the start of the war. And his overseas relationship was more complicated. BUT the point is, for the first time, I'd written every day. I could keep my writing goal if there was some external factor, even if the external factor wasn't aware that they were a factor.

Hence my decision to put aside my ego and hire a personal coach. I'll start posting my Autobiography Box exercises tomorrow but right now I have to email my coach.

Accountability. It can be a beautiful thing.

9:30 p.m. - 2010-04-26


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