the repatriation of onebluegreen

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Free baggage to a good home

The whole half lawn being mowed was embarassing and many of R's family members saw it. Oh well. Shit happens. But it was still embarassing.

It was good to see him. He isn't fond of his job. His stuff finally arrived from overseas. It was supposed to take a month and a half it took over four. The good news is nothing is broken.

Saturday night when we could have had time to talk we passed each other. I had plans to go the ballet. He went to Milkman's building, hung out with him, then brought him back here.

Sunday was a lazy morning then R had a family picnic. Milkman and I spent most of the day eating and lying in the shade. Late afternoon when R came back Milkman was asleep so he and I sat outside and chatted.

Sunday night we grilled and drank sangria (which is a tough thing to do on a school night). Monday morning when I walked out of the bathroom R was hiding and waiting to scare me. I think it is his form of affection. It doesn't annoy me because my whole family is the same way.

I ate breakfast and then said good bye to him and Milkman and drove to work. It was peaceful. It was good to see him. However, it is still very platonic.

After this weekend I know what I have known for a long time. He cares about me; he is attracted to me; he likes me; he respects me. But. I am not sure what the but is. I can think of lots of but possibilities but I think it mainly boils down to him compartmentalizing his life. He cannot foresee having a relationship unless the two people are in the same town.

I disagree. I am not sure if I even have the time to date someone who lives here. Long distance would be great. Sometimes I think it is almost as simple as I am primarily half full and he is half empty. I know this but learning to accept it is difficult.

So, I am back to where I was before he came into town unexpectedly.(FYI for a doctor's appointment -- which intrigues me but I don't know why or how it went). I am spring cleaning my emotional/love life.

I wish there was a GoodWill drop off for what I need to get rid of.

9:06 p.m. - 2004-04-20

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous | next